I was talking with my therapist (T) today and I mentioned how I catch myself dissociating more than ever. I told her I find myself dissociating when I feel trapped in the house. H “strongly suggested” I stay the week because of oldest son’s grad party this weekend. uh what? [Your argument is invalid.] So I’ve been here but I left myself room to change that if I decide. I’m getting there.
Anyway, T says “wait, to clarify, did you just tell me that you dissociate a lot?”
Yep. All the time. Less now that I catch myself, but still quite a lot. If I stay at the house too long, the old patterns gain strength and the cycles begin.
I have a rough weekend coming with H’s entire freaking family coming for the party.
Screw ’em. My house. Behave yourselves. Or leave. This isn’t about you.
So my T told me to try to stay on the mindfulness track and don’t be hard on myself for dissociation. Just be aware of it.