has to be one bad [whatever] to have shaken my resiliency. I score very high on resiliency but this thing was insidious and surgically found my core, bringing shock and awe to my otherwise decent framework of self. I had previously survived several layers of self-inquiry and wasn’t unaware in some respects, but nothing that compared to this round. This thing had to be of such magnitude in order to bring me down. The depression had been absolutely debilitating but is less of a problem. This is like an old time street fight now. No weapons, just sheer Will.