Giving in to meds…

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After my counseling appointment, I had an appointment with my GP. Typically, I don’t think of my GP as an adept prescriber of Rx medication, however, I had already researched my options and had some idea of what I didn’t want (e.g., SSRIs which haven’t worked well for me the few times I’d tried them). I explained to my doc that the Vyvanse may have been part of the tilt toward dopamine dominance which was exacerbated by my situation, but I don’t believe he’s up on the research, which has been my experience with him. 

I walked out with scripts for Wellbutrin 150mg and Xanax 0.5 mg along with my usual Vyvanse 70 mg. The Xanax I intend to use exceptionally sparingly and only on those nights where I’m desperate for a full night of uninterrupted sleep. My premise is that I can retrain my body to give in to sleep and stay asleep and as my body comes out of the continually jacked up state and sleep becomes more normal, I hope a pharmaceutically induced nudge now and then will be all I need. 

I’m groggy from the bedtime Xanax but awake promptly at 7:00 a.m. I took my Vyvanse as usual and added the Wellbutrin. I’ve had some success with Wellbutrin before and it acts on both the dopamine and serotonin receptors as well as the norepinephrine receptors. I’ve learned that Vyvanse acts on dopamine alone, which was fine when my serotonin wasn’t extremely depleted as it has become via major depression. Chances are good that under normal conditions, the serotonin deficit wouldn’t have become so bad, however, my stress and anxiety has been unusually high for a sustained period of time producing the gap and therefore the need for chemical rebalance. Right now I just want to go back to sleep. 

Since I’m looking at the Wellbutrin (and especially the Xanax) as short term adjustments, I’m thinking a couple of months may be all I need. I’m chemically sensitive so low doses of anything prescribed are always in order. I’ve tried to fight my way out of this major depressive episode on my own but it was too big to accomplish without some assistance. So there it is. 

I’m on it! 😉

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2 thoughts on “Giving in to meds…

  1. I’m sorry you’re struggling right now. I remember so well trying to get the right effective meds . Of course I didn’t have a computer back then and so couldn’t research myself. Now I research everything meds/treatment of ailments. In fact recently since my doctors are having trouble diagnosing me I did some research and did a letter and faxed it to my Gastro dr. I had no idea how he would take it but actually it did two things… first it got me in for a test a couple of weeks ago that wasn’t supposed to be until April 23rd… and secondly he decided on two more tests.. one scheduled for 16th April. I had decided if he didn’t appreciate it (I went to great pains not to sound offensive just questioning ) but if he didn’t … so what? I guess I’d be getting a new doctor.

    So it’s great that you kind of know what it is you want and the side effects etc. I’m wondering…but you likely know… if two months will be enough though. The meds will take a little while…to get into your system and regulated… and if you stop too soon the effect may not last.. Just some thoughts.. Anyway, hope you start to feel improvement soon. I spent many years where you are and I wish you well…. Diane

    • Hi Diane!

      Thank you, as always, for your helpful and kind words. I giggled at the “I guess I’ll be getting a new doctor” part. I’ve effectively fired several docs, once while I was 6 months pregnant. [That OB/GYN was a nasty woman, just nasty! LOL!] Good for you for taking the research bull by the horns. I totally agree that the Internet has been a great help despite the potential problem of folks self-diagnosing, etc.

      Yes, I figure the meds will take about a month to fully work into my system. However, because I’m so chemically sensitive (always have been) I react to drugs more quickly and more intensely than perhaps some others might. Generally, it doesn’t take much, which is why I’m sitting here groggy from such a small dose of Xanax. Gads. Like anything else, I guess we’ll wait and see (she said, with high optimism!).

      I’m sorry you spent years in this dark, dank void. So very sorry. I can’t express how fortunate I feel to have knowledge, experience, great counsel, and resources available to me to bring this ginormous ugly monster to its knees. That monster may be a bada$$ but, at my best, it’s no match for me. I will again be at my best and that monster? Well, he’s *goin’ down* and once he’s down, I’m doing him in!

      /grinning

      Yeah baby.

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