Friday afternoon, H came home from work early. He was sick to his stomach and thought he was having a muscle spasm because of recent back/neck problems. He took a muscle relaxer and passed out. It was about 10:30 p.m. when I went to my apartment so I could get some sleep. The past few weeks of him tossing and turning because he was uncomfortable were wearing me down, on top of my feeling extremely depressed. I sent him a text telling him I took care of Son #2 and that he was in bed. I told him I needed to get a good night’s sleep and that I would see him the next day.
We texted earlier in the day and I had to take care of some kid things in the early evening. We were getting along OKin the evening until about 8’ish. Son #1 was at a dance and H wasn’t feeling awesome.
From out of nowhere, as usual, my Saturday night was about to take an ugly turn. [See The Long Dark Night of This Soul (Trigger Warning)]
On Sunday we found out he had a kidney stone of 6.5 mm and, incidentally, some atherosclerosis and his heart is enlarged. During the past several weeks I have tried hard to be understanding of his physical problems. During The Ultimatum conversation, I did tell him that both of our physiological issues were likely linked, in part, to the emotional stress we’ve been under. I also told him I thought his anger issues were dangerous to his health. At first he dismissed the idea of the relationship between the two, but he thought about it and reluctantly agreed.