I came across a blog post from @behindthemask and was absolutely struck by the following excerpt:
“I don’t want anyone to see my truth. I just want to be happy and joke all the time, but some days I’m not able. This is one of them. To know me is to see this side of me too. It’s my truth and reality. It is, for all who’ve been abused. If I hide it, I’m once again giving into shame. What do I have to be ashamed about? I was abused. I didn’t ask for it.“
I hadn’t considered that it was shame prompting me to stuff my feelings and pretend things were A-OK. I had always thought of it solely as strength. I guess there’s a point where every asset can become a liability, but I always thought I just had developed amazing self control as a survival skill.
Apparently, there’s more to it.
Man that’s wild stuff, seriously wild…wow.