Gender differences and relationship articles



In looking up articles for advice on how to communicate one’s needs in a relationship, I discovered an apparent difference in approaches based upon gender. [I know, obvious, right? Not to me…until now.]

I found an article on The Art of Manliness entitled How to Communicate Your Needs in a Relationship. Perhaps it is because I have read way too many articles aimed at women understanding their partners’/husbands’ needs that it struck me as interesting to come across an article intended for men with regard to them communication their needs to their wives/SOs. 

It was very straightforward. No deep analysis or lecturing. 

OMG, I actually felt relief

For whatever reason, the way the article was written hit home with me right away. No over-thought required.



5 thoughts on “Gender differences and relationship articles

  1. I read the first few graphs quickly and was struck by how things seem to have completely flipped.

    This could very easily be taken from advice to women from 20 years ago. I wonder what has turned men into such delicate creatures?

    I meet a lot of men like this campus and I don’t like them very much. I imagine women don’t either.

    It’s a bit disorienting for a man of my age. The age of Aquarius has turned into the age of the bearded hipster of indeterminate gender.

    Sounds like it’s all confusing for both men and women and is getting worse.

    I think it’s time for me to go out and shoot a bear something.

    • LOL! Shoot a bear? That’s hilarious!

      After I stopped giggling for a second, I began to think that because you have a noticeably good grasp of written communication, chances are good that this is a comfortable area for you verbally. [Hypothesizing here.]

      Men like my H don’t have such natural inclinations and therefore, are low on applicable skills. The article was like a roadmap to some degree and yeah, perhaps written from a more feminine voice…but potentially chocked with [overwhelming] advice for someone who doesn’t find it easy to communicate.

      That said, I understood the rest of what you said and see your points. Personally, I don’t like bitchy women OR men. I don’t like drama or emotional yuck. I eschew anything that emotionally drains me. I avoid it like the plague, especially at work. On the personal side, I’ve surgically removed similar annoyances/people and I’m quite pleased with the results. The bottom line in everything is, of course, balance with a healthy side of appropriateness. And yes, absent those things, confusion abounds.

      Go shoot that “baahr” in the woods now! Heh.

      • You can have the skin when it’s tanned. Sucker put up a fight. 🙂

        Hypothesis confirmed. I’ve been in mass media and comm. of one form or another….forever. When I need to figure something out, I write… Kind of like you’re doing. The act of writing uses different muscles than talking alone does, and I’ve found that it pulls from both sides of the brain, instead of just from the emotions. It seems better to me — harder, but better. More balanced and, therefore, more trustworthy. It makes the brain work differently to have to conform to the formal rules of grammar and syntax… well, you get the point.

        Which is not to say the interpersonal is unfamiliar or unimportant. Just different, and it has its place, too. And if H. isn’t talkin’ much, or is using language only to control, that’s a tough one. There are different styles, and there’s nothing more elegant and satisfying than when the feminine genius and the masculine virtues can intertwine and dance in an atmosphere of trust and respect. It can’t be forced, but it can be conjured.

        Let me throw a devil’s advocate question at you: sometimes when we men hear “I need you to talk to me” we hear an implicit criticism that the way we are isn’t good enough. And when we feel our woman thinks we aren’t good enough, we start to shut down, which makes communications more and more difficult. We withdraw, get defensive and angry. Does that make any sense?

        Do you have an anonymous email account set up, gmail or yahoo, etc?

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