I’ve read this post at least 7 times this afternoon. Very good advice!
Does your partner threaten to kill himself if you try to leave him? Does he tell you you don’t love him enough? That he just can’t cope without you? Then you may be on the receiving end of emotional blackmail. Here’s my guide to identifying and dealing with one of the most powerful tactics in an abuser’s toolkit.
If you are in – or have gotten out of – an abusive relationship, you will have experienced emotional blackmail. Some blackmail tactics are in-your face and blatant. Some are much more subtle and insidious. All fall broadly into just three categories.
1) Blame and denial
I call these the ‘if, only and just’ statements. Watch out for these words, which are designed to minimise the abuse or deflect responsibility elsewhere.
- I only hit you when I’m drunk. Why won’t you help me to stop drinking?
- It’s your fault I yell at…
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