What the heck is going on with my body?


Most days since I’ve started following the specific carbohydrate diet I have felt ok, good even. However, the tipping point back to pain is stress. The IBS-type symptoms start and I feel queasy and in pain. I haven’t seen the need for a Celiac diagnosis because it’s rather irrelevant except for the fact that strict gluten-free living has stopped working. The root cause is all that matters because if causes can be identified, solutions can be found. Nothing embarrassing manifests but the persistence of the spasms [and other symptoms like migraine, fatigue, bloating] are awful to the extent that I spend a lot of time unable to do anything in the little spare time I have. I’ve been carefully watching my diet and have seen some pretty positive changes, however, this week it flared up again. I shouldn’t be surprised because of the emotional week I’ve had with my oldest son, yet, here I am. Surprised.

And, oh happy day, it seems I will have back to back menstrual cycles or something weird like I’ve never experienced before. [what tha??] Hmmmm…could be time for some horrendous medical tests that will no doubt make me regret such a choice. Ugh, I dread that, but worse yet, I dread being prescribed an antibiotic. If that’s the only answer, bring it on, but I think it’s the mind-body interaction that is really causing some of the turmoil.

Admittedly, it would be just ducky to have H here to bring me an AlkaSeltzer or Tagamet or whatever I toss down my throat while I pray for relief. For many years I crawled to the kitchen and got it myself. Only the past few has H become sensitive to my needing help sometimes as he says he views me as one of the most independent people he’s ever known. [this is confusing as hell for me…one of these days I’ll figure it out. or not. I don’t care much I guess.] Nonetheless, the process of learning how to be me, for the first time really, was critical to my taking back my individuality. I still backslide and allow myself to be manipulated, but my track record these days is pretty damn good, considering.

When we’re together, I enjoy the moment; unless things get snarky. The beauty is that I can disengage now whereas I couldn’t before. End the call. Leave the house. Whatever. It seems like a very small thing, but it wasn’t for me. Taking back that individuality was enormous and I have to feel that regardless of how things turn out, that benefit cannot be disputed. This is in no way a slam or degradation of H, but it is a vote of confidence for me – by me.

It’s about damn time.


2 thoughts on “What the heck is going on with my body?

  1. I can empathise with your suffering, not knowing what is the cause.
    My two daughters are coeliacs (we spell it differently over here) and they both had a hard time before they were diagnosed when they were little.
    Hope you can find some solution soon…

    • Thanks. The past two days have been good. I didn’t expect to become non-responsive to the GF diet but that’s what happened. It is nearly impossible to eat clean [no chemicals] these days though stress is likely the biggest factor with the flare ups.

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