Aghast Cat is back…aghast, once again

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Our 22nd anniversary will be on September 14th. This past weekend, H made plans. 

But not with me.

He has decided to go out of town golfing for the whole weekend. I only found this out when we were talking about the kids’ schedule. It didn’t hit me until about 24 hours later, probably because I haven’t been feeling well. 

Now I’m feeling better. Physically anyway. I will admit to having a bit of an owie over this one. Somewhere in between stomach spasms I recall him asking if that weekend would be OK for him to go out of town, but it didn’t really click until this afternoon. 

Ow. 

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19 thoughts on “Aghast Cat is back…aghast, once again

  1. During my divorce I took the kids out of town during our anniversary….the date means nothing to me now of course but during our separation it was an incredibly painful experience. Mine was sept 12 🙂

  2. If it helps (probably not but anyway….) neither my wife or I ever remember our anniversary. I sometimes do but usually a bit after the event. But she NEVER does. Point is – he might have been blissfully unaware of the date significance.

  3. i dunno love! stupid men and their stupid. stupid. try not to believe that he did it to hurt you tho. its more likely he did it to try and avoid his own hurt feelings.

  4. I understand. My parents were divorced when I was twelve. I am now 67. I was amazed the hatred that they had for each other. It was seething and taken to extreme. I only found out later in life what caused it. It turns out my mother cheated on my dad while he was working. He was always working. She used that as an excuse for her to do what she did. It ended up causing my brother and I separated. I lived with my mom for six months. My brother with my dad and then we switched for the next six months. I mention this for you to remember the kids are the most important. You will eventually understand but the kids are young and they will not until they are much older. Good luck. Barry

    • Barry, I always like reading your impressions and input, especially when you recount things like this which I’m sure must be difficult. We’ve tried to be mindful of the boys and put them first – no matter what. These are the lessons learned from what I call “The Previous Administration” (i.e., my H’s first marriage to Satan) where the kids were used as pawns and great damage ensued, despite H’s sincere efforts to leave the battlefield outside of the purview of the kids.

      I need to write a follow up to this note because my anniversary turned out differently (in a positive sense) than I thought it would.

      When my kids see us together they see that we are respectful and loving, we kiss each other hello and goodbye, we don’t fight and there’s no animosity whatsoever. In fact, they probably don’t think much of us being separated because we all see each other so often.

      The one area that you mentioned, which I will work harder at, is keeping the brothers together more often. The oldest is 17 and therefore has a “life” so even under non-separated conditions, he would be doing his thing with his friends while the little one (10 yr. old) was home. Nonetheless, these are different conditions and I’m really glad you prompted me to think about getting them together – deliberately, even to the dismay of the older one because he has to pause his social life.

      Thank you! Dharma

  5. Pingback: The Anniversary | Dharma Goddess: The Journey to Me

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