Very introverted at the moment

Image Photo: MiniTab

I’ve had one of those days where my stomach has been seizing and I feel like it’s bright orange like burning lava, and not in a good way. I had to interact with H and frankly I think the stomach thing is just a reflection of something working its way through my system. We were supposed to have a date of sorts and part of me was looking forward to it. Apparently, the other part of me wasn’t. Yes, ah, ha. Ta da. [giggles!]

I told him we would reschedule for tomorrow. Pouting and punishment via guilt ensued. I absorbed a bit of it before I realized what was happening, then I let it go. After that, I yawned and turned my phone off to avoid further risk of being dragged into that rabbit hole.

I have had an unbelievable amount of student interaction this week. I have an engineering stats course in the final design phase based upon a Beta I ran last spring. Interesting how that came about, maybe I’ll tell you some time. And we are getting all of this downward pressure from the administration who is getting it from the state.

OK, here is what I have repeated to every administrator at every level when these conversations take place: I am a professor and a scholar. I have an obligation to my discipline, to the Academe, to my students and to all stakeholders. I will not support grade inflation and/or erosion of course/program requirements. This is not why I am here. The students who fail my courses are the students who will not do the work. Don’t talk to me about completion. Look at my course stats. Look at the outstanding design of the course. And look at the crazy awesome things students can do when they’re turned loose. I am doing everything within my power and I’m respected by my students. You have your role with its pressures and so do I.

I’m pondering the impact of saying to myself “OK well, you know what you tell your students: looking around now and then makes you either a better employee where you are or provides you with a vision of how things could be better and different. See where it goes.”

Lots more than that. Trying to release the feelings of absorbing H’s poutiness. Wait a minute, those are HIS thoughts, not mine. Uh. Hmmm. Cool. I’m going to watch the sunset, check on my baking bread [yeah, I know it’s like 90 degrees. so what.], and conspire as to what I should do with my yummy looking basil plant. Maybe I’ll think and maybe I won’t.


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