I have been running like a nut over the past week between faculty meetings [most are silly time wasters] and schlepping kids. The boys stayed with H last night because I was absolutely fatigued. The last thing I need is a Hashimoto’s flare up. So I took my aching, fevered self to bed about 9 p.m. Woke up at 5 a.m. and started fresh. It’s been an immensely productive day despite more of the same.
[Dude, I built a collaborative knowledge base for my students today! yay! AND I sourced a fantastic new tech tool that I became part of the Beta test group. This could be an enormous win for my institution and my students! yay!]
To the real issue: H pretty much bugged me for some “us” time this week despite the frenzied insanity that represents my life right now. Moving, back to work, kids back to school, child care unknowns, driving across town at the drop of a hat when the 17 year old texts and needs a ride, staying up damn near all night with the 10 year old…dude, I’m tahhhrd! Anyway, I gave in to get him to leave me alone for about 10 minutes – I know, I know…so we have a “date” tomorrow night. When he was over to drop off the younger son after their very short shopping excursion on Sunday, he said “so, can we work in play time on Wednesday?”
I swear to you, I looked like that damn cat above. I could not get my mind around his insensitivity and just stared at him, AGHAST. He said “What? I can’t help it if I like having sex with you!” I shook my head and thought “wow, is that what this is all about…” It may be coming from a place of – well – I don’t know, attraction? good thoughts? but I sort of feel a little used. I mean seriously, I am stressed big time, running on fumes, just running period, not feeling really sexy, and barely ready to get back to the functioning world. OK, I’m ready, but that adjustment only ramped up today actually.
Come on! Really? This isn’t about wanting to spend time with me, hold my hand, talk about missing me…this is about getting into my thong LOL!
Sidebar: I’m very happy being alone when I can swing it. In no way do I feel restored though because the texts, calls and emails [mostly logistics stuff] are still omnipresent. sigh.
Am I taking this wrong or is sex THE only way for the man to express himself? Or is he just wanting to get laid? Am I being used ’cause I sure feel like it…[go with your gut, always…yes, but my gut is a little unreliable right now…I’m soliciting input…]
Aghast. Simply aghast.