I got little to nothing done today in the way of organizing for this nutty week to come. H came to get the youngest this afternoon to go shopping for the out-of-town wedding they will be attending next weekend. I’m beyond THRILLED that I declined, although H asked no less than 75 times if I’d reconsider. One thing is certain: I would rather never, ever spend time with his family again. That is clear. I refuse to take up any of the nonsense and/or hysteria that surrounds that whole scene. Done. Period. He understands but wishes it were different. I am not apologizing.
Anyway, while they were gone shopping, I got no less than 8 texts from him. I wanted to scream! I had about 1.5 hours to run a quick errand and make a game plan as I spent the morning managing the maintenance guy for the broken air conditioner in my apartment [which he did not fix]. I’m on the 3rd floor and it’s hot and I’m cranky. I’m probably more cranky for the time suck that H created than anything.
H asked me numerous times about us having a date this week. OMG, seriously? This is a crazy week with the kids going back to school and me with no childcare as well as the fact that I have to prep several adjuncts and be ready to roll next Monday. This was after I ordered all of the stuff for his grandson’s birthday party and coordinated the youngest’s wardrobe. I told him I need time to adjust. There is a great deal of change and I need routine. I told him Wednesday night just to get him off my back. Jeez that was so codependent of me. Up until that point, boundaries were flowing freely. OK, well, win some, lose some. Mixed bag.
I’m trying to build my virtual machine and Parallels, as usual, is making me want to scream. I swear I’m going to run Linux before the term is out. gah!
Other than that, I’ve been enjoying the time with my youngest. He’s a very funny kid and very sweet. He laughs all of the time and that’s good for me. I’ve been relatively relaxed until today when dealing with H. He came into my apartment and was looking around and it felt weird. I told him that. He said there was nothing to be weirded out about, that it looks nice…OK, it’s still weird.
Here’s the crux: I am feeling resentment toward H that if he hadn’t pushed back repeatedly on this separation, I would have been afforded the time to adjust and make better plans. Having said that, I know it doesn’t matter. It is what it is. So let it go.
Alright, I’ll work on that. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. I will have to say that about 90 times a day…