It’s time to strengthen my boundary-setting muscles. When H attempts to usurp and control my time and overwhelm my thoughts, as I allow him to do, I’m going to try to practice not responding.
Example: another text exchange tonight about the ominous problems that lie ahead if I don’t work a frigging miracle and get our youngest into latchkey. Believe me, I am intelligent problem-solver who does not see a box which confines possibilities. I have stolen time, juggled multiple priorities, and done the impossible for years. This is nothing new. That sort of thing has always been my responsibility, even when H was in the domestic driver’s seat. I do not need a reminder, over and over again, which only creates a feeling of pressure and stress on my end. I have told him this a gazillion times but he still does it…as if I’m not already recognizing and trying to plan for these things.
Yes, yes, I know you have a new job. Bully for you. Yes, yes, I know you cannot be flexible with your schedule like you told me you would when you were interviewing. Yes, yes, I know it’s going to be a bitch to get him to school. Yes, yes, I know that two days a week I have to be in the classroom at 9:30, which is an hour away, and the school bus comes at 8:35. Yes, yes, I know ALL of this. What is your motivation for pounding it into my head?? Seriously!
This crazy making must end. Is this bullying or what? I don’t understand but I am not going to allow it any more. It’s time that he starts treating me like the intelligent, responsible, Big Girl that I am and always have been. Maybe this is the age difference but I presently find any rationalization to be irrelevant. In fact, these are symptoms of why we are where we are.
Enough. The next response will be no response. If he pushes further, I will likely get to the point of where I calmly tell him these things and he’ll get pissed and that will be that. Just do your thing man, I got this covered.