Attract or repel: What’s in YOUR mirror?

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One of the things I recently discovered through my study and practice,  led to an enormous revelation about myself.  I act in certain ways that attract things I don’t necessary or consciously want. We all do this mirroring thing in one way or another and I cannot believe how difficult it is to see. It’s even more difficult to follow through on changing it. [I know, “duh” LOL!]

Here is an example. Because I was projecting so much ambiguity about moving out, my spouse reacted in ways that reinforced that ambiguous thought pattern. At one point I realized “well of course he did, I planted the seeds didn’t I?” The difficult part was not actually doing something to establish a different boundary but it was confronting and setting aside all of the fear, frustration and self-torture before I could act. The doing part was easy.

I realized that I have to examine everything *I* am doing/have done and steer away from being so focused on what H was doing. I can see that addressing my problems now, as if I were going into a new relationship, gives me the opportunity to recalibrate so I don’t make the same mistakes or attract the same problems again. Easier said than done, and I’m pretending on the new relationship part because that’s not reality. It just a tool of my imagination that helps me wonder “OK, how would I want to be in a healthy and fulfilling relationship? What would that look like?” I believe thinking that way though can bring about positive changes. I finally starting to understand what it means to find my happiness from within. [just starting ok, not proficient – yet] I remember, very vaguely, fleeting moments of that in my lifetime.

Well now doesn’t that sound exciting?

9 thoughts on “Attract or repel: What’s in YOUR mirror?

  1. The notion that opposited attract does not really make sense to me (unles we are talking about magnetic poles…)
    We attract those things which we project out there and are mirrored back to us by others – even if we might try to convince ourselves otherwise.

      • Yep it’s a fallacy that people like to hang onto because it is easier than looking a little deeper at the “why”. And it is also about taking responsibility for what we attract and what part we play in it

  2. You wrote “it is also about taking responsibility for what we attract and what part we play in it” which is what I am focused on experientially. It’s not a new realization for me, but the realization is becoming broader than I’d imagined.

  3. Pingback: What We Fear, We Attract - Mutual Spiritual Affinity

  4. I learned from recent experience that ambiguity is not nothing. It is a definite something, and I have to take responsibility for it. Inaction is its own action, eh?

    • Boy is that ever true! Wrapping my head around that was maddening. Until I stopped trying and accepted that it just is. Not bad. Not good. Not anything, which is the opposite of making things happen. It was a derp moment for me. 🙂 After that though, I was moving forward. Can’t go back.

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