A section of this article absolutely floored me…in a revealing way!
I obviously have my reservations about couples counseling due to poor previous experiences and outstanding/unaddressed individual issues that both H and I need to work on. I agree with many philosophies of counseling that state couples counseling is not the place to work on individual issues (including abuse which I’ve never directly discussed with H). This is an especially delicate situation, considering where we are in our marriage.
I don’t care for the title but “6 reasons marriage counseling is BS” hit me over the head when I got to #6:
“It’s the most expensive way to try to control your spouse
Marriage counseling may seem like an important purchase, but it’s actually a tragic waste because it diverts funds from something that really would help your marriage: Self-care.
Self-care means not only getting enough rest and nourishment, it means that you make it a priority to do three pleasurable things every single day. Relationships naturally take a little energy and if you’re depleted, you give your relationship no chance to thrive. Showing up delighted instead of depleted is indispensable for a gratifying and intimate partnership.
You may have thought it was your husband’s job to make you happy, but it’s actually yours. Your husband would like to make you happy, but if he can’t he may stop trying. Once you make yourself feel good, he sees that you are pleasable, which opens the door for him to delight you too. Men love making their women happy. “Happy wife, happy life” is not just an adage. Ask any guy.”
Wow. Just wow.
P.S. – I’m not crazy about this coach’s approach, the point above notwithstanding.
- Is Counseling the Answer to a Bad Marriage? (divorce.answers.com)
- Couples Counseling and Healthy Relationships (healing.answers.com)
- This is why I absolutely reject traditional marriage counseling (erikmatlock.wordpress.com)
- Couples Counseling With High Conflict People (psychologytoday.com)
- Marriage Counseling & Couples Counseling (carolynstevensoncounseling.wordpress.com)