When getting flowers makes you sad…


H brought a bouquet of flowers today when he went to the store to pick up milk. He was acting like a childish ass last night, telling me to just leave and that I could call the kids later [what??], then moping and when I didn’t pay attention to him, throwing the inevitable temper tantrum, trying for sex, then a bigger temper tantrum.

Honestly, this all makes me sad. So very sad.

The couples counselor from the university just called and of course, H is sitting right here, practically on top of me. I didn’t want to talk to her. She wants to do our intake and schedule individual meetings so we can get started. Hell, I don’t even think it’s worth it now. I’m going to have to forcibly extract myself from this relationship, probably breaking him in the process and then be punished for it. This is all assuming I didn’t break first. OMG.

He asked me who called – of course – and I said it was the couples therapist and I didn’t want to talk to her. Denial being a permanent residence for him, he didn’t respond.

Sweep it under the rug. That’s right. Pretend it’ll go away though you know it won’t. Force me into a corner and make me the bad guy. Squeeze all of the life out of our relationship because you cannot face your problems. I’ll resent you with the force that I used to love you. You will not get what you think you want with this approach. Tread carefully. Massive destruction awaits and nobody wins.



2 thoughts on “When getting flowers makes you sad…

  1. Hi, Just read your post about getting flowers and sadness and though I probably shouldn’t leave my 2 cents worth, I feel your pain. 🙂 I’ve had too many lessons to count in the ‘relationship’ area and here are some things I’ve learned: all people attract others to them who ‘mirror’ for them–they come to show us who we are; the problems are never about the ‘other,’ they are about us–what we need to learn, where we need to grow; the very best and highest form of relationship are those that are peaceful, supportive, inclusive and loving. No one can always be all those things, but we can set ourselves on the path and find our quality of life getting way better.

    • Oh please leave your 2 cents worth! Even if we agree to disagree, it’s valuable to hear a voice outside of my own.

      That said, thank you for your comments. I’m starting to understand the concept of mirroring and what it means to me. I think ultimately the lesson is to have the courage to stand up for myself and be clear on what I won’t stand for in terms of acceptable behavior.

      Thanks again Pam!


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