Controlled Separation Agreement, Part 6



[read on]

Our Children

We will continue to work as a team for the best interests of our marriage, as well as for the best interests of our children. The structure of our healing separation will allow for a sensitive and loving approach designed to teach our children that, despite our marriage not being a bed of roses, there are solutions. In this way, our children will learn about solidarity and trust in relationships. We will make sure they know that they are unconditionally cared for, loved, and that they will not be abandoned or neglected in any way.

The welfare of our children will continue to be our primary focus and we will do everything we can to reinforce that focus. The following suggestions have been designed to help the healing separation be as positive of an experience for our children as possible and we agree with them:

  • We are both committed to maintaining quality relationships with each of our children and will continually reinforce that they are loved by both of us.
  • We will be as open and honest with our children about the healing separation as is appropriate. No details of the our private matters will be discussed with our children.
  • We will help our children see and understand that the physical separation is an adult matter and that they are not responsible for any issues in our marriage.
  • We will not express anger or negative feelings towards the other parent through our children because we know it is very destructive for them to become caught in any emotional crossfire.
  • We will never ask our children to take sides in arguments concerning differing attitudes and viewpoints.
  • We would never put our children in the position of spying and reporting on the behavior of the other parent.
  • We are committed to working cooperatively with each other on effectively co-parenting our children.

Visitation and custody

  • We agree to jointly care for our children to the fullest extent possible. 50/50 is ideal.
  • We agree to call, email and/or text each of our children at least once per day to check in, especially when the child is visiting the other parent.
  • We will work out weekly schedules no less than a week in advance, wherever possible.
    • By no later than Sunday afternoon of each week we should have a good idea of what to expect for the coming week.
  • [Dog] will live with D, but can come to the house for visits whenever H would like.
  • We know that things come up in life and we will do our best to be as flexible and cooperative as possible.

I'd love to hear your thoughts - please join the discussion!

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