Controlled Separation Agreement, Part 4

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Homework Meetings

  • We agree to meet in a neutral location once a week for a period of at least 1 hour to discuss our homework and any other relationship thoughts.
  • Homework discussions will be kept separate from dates.
  • We will work together to establish an outline of reasonable weekly homework goals, which could include exercises from The Seven Principles book or other recommended resources.
  • We agree that homework meetings are an appropriate time to calmly and respectfully discuss relationship progress and issues.
  • We will focus not only on what we can improve upon in our relationship, but also on what we have done well in order that we can build upon our strengths as a couple.
  • We agree that discussions should be focused on productive work toward improving our relationship. Such discussions may be difficult and if our discussion becomes disrespectful or goes out of bounds, either of us reserves the right to terminate the meeting.

Dating each other

In general, we will plan to spend time together when it is agreeable to both of us. This time might be spent having fun, talking, parenting together, or sharing our individual personal growth processes.

  • We agree to make a date at least once every other week, with the regular goal being once per week, depending upon our relationship progress.
  • Dates can occur on any day of the week and do not have to be limited to weekends.
  • We will each take turns making plans for our dates.
  • We will keep in mind the purpose is to bring us together in a way that can be appealing and will make every effort to not use that time talking about relationship downfalls.
  • If, at any point, one or both of us feels that it is a good decision to suspend our agreement to date each other, we will discuss it and honor each others’ feelings.
  • Sexual contact can be initiated by either of us during our dates as long as we both are comfortable.
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