Busy avoidance…


You can’t keep me in limbo forever ya know…[read on]

H has been making himself avoidantly busy since I came home from dance class this afternoon. This morning before he left for golf, I told him we would talk about the separation document this afternoon after he returned. I told him to have a nice day on the course and that there would be time this afternoon anyway. No worries. [yeah, that was a stupid move…] He’s still waiting to hear on the job. Then, somehow, he sucked me into getting the perfect present for his mother which has entailed lots of work in Photoshop. Don’t ask. I’m am idiot. The only bright side is that he went out to get takeout for dinner.

What I know: I cannot let today end without us agreeing on talking with the kids and making that happen. If he wants to continue to avoid this, I’m going to force the issue. I cannot take living with him for much longer. He’s driving me insane with his constant chattering and I cannot have one clear thought! I want to scream!

We definitely cannot continue this way. Denial just isn’t going to get it.


6 thoughts on “Busy avoidance…

  1. “Off-the-table-itis” can be the death of a marriage. I used to do that without being aware that I was (avoided difficult discussions primarily, I think, due to anxiety). After my husband’s affair, I became aware of it during our marriage counseling and took responsibility for changing it. I can see now how it destroys intimacy and am thankful for the opportunity to strengthen my marriage.

    • We are squarely within the bullying and crazy making zone now. I’m empathetic toward his anxiety about waiting to hear on this job and there is some validity there. However, I strongly feel it’s just one more manipulative tactic to control me. He’s going to push me to force the issue. I just have to “man up” and accept it, then deal with it.

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