Narcissistic control…again…

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All I wanted to do was go to my apartment. H says “no, I told you. If you want time by yourself, *I’ll leave*.” What?? Am I not allowed to leave the house now? WTF?? The purpose of me going there was to try to put a research agenda together and to work out a separation plan (for real). None of this I disclosed to him, but later it became apparent that he thought I had “plans” with my affair person, whom I have not seen since early winter.

As I progressed through my stinted day, I became angrier and angrier. Realizing that this was yet another controlling block by him so that he could decide what I did and when. Finally, of course, I boiled over at him and told him I was pissed. Too pissed to talk. Too pissed to be around him. He threw it back in my face. Then he said he was sorry my plans got cancelled [again] and I said no plans. I said I didn’t want to be around him and that I was leaving. He told me [again] “No, I’m leaving so you can’t leave!”

OMFG, are we like in 3rd grade or something? I told him the courts will love that he left his 10 year old son by himself, knowing I wouldn’t be there. I pulled out the full on anger. I no longer cared. I told him he doesn’t see me as an individual and that he has no respect for me as a person, that it’s all about him. He stormed out, texted me half an hour later that again, he was sorry my plans got cancelled and that he was sure I’ll figure out a way to reschedule. I simply replied “No plans to reschedule.”

Now he’s just texted me “do you want to talk?”

OMG I’m so hopping mad I cannot even imagine both of us angry, talking. I told him not on the phone and only if we can both be calm. I apologized for losing my temper [because I can *own* MY behavior!]

I’m so through with his self-centered, infantile behavior!!

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One thought on “Narcissistic control…again…

  1. Pingback: I got what I wanted. Finally. | Dharma Goddess: The Journey to Me

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