Wanted: Superhero – That’s me!

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 I’ve determined that I need to be my own Superhero. I was wallowing this evening, thinking how dissatisfied I was with my life, wahhh wahhh, wahhhh…

BLECH.

I could only think to myself “WTF? I have never been this helpless, controlled, one-dimensional person and I sure wasn’t meant to be this way either!” If someone would have told me when I was 18 years old, how things would look at this juncture in my life, I might have punched them in the mouth. Just for fun. Nah, not really. But it would have been tempting. So here I am and I’m wondering what’s changed. Why have I just accepted all of this nonsense?

Because I’ve given away my power. [If I have to hear that one more damn time from my therapist I’m going to scream! If I hear it one more time from my closest friend, I’m going to scream!]

Both of my sons were acting like Jr. Jerks this evening and I lowered the boom on both of them. To the teenager: get a grip and don’t disrespect me. To the medium sized one: YOU do not run the show Jeeves.

Then there is the biggest child, you know, the one I married. I guess I could sit around resenting him and watching my life drift away to nothingness, but, um, I don’t think that’s gonna work for me somehow. /heavy sarcasm

I’m through. I’ve got to be my own superhero by treating them how I expect to be treated. With the kids, that’s easy. With the biggest kid, eh, well it’s going to get easy pretty shortly. I’ve already started to move into acceptance in a few small ways and I intend on keeping that momentum. I am DONE. This business of not being able to leave the house – or feel like I’m not able to – is garbage. I’m sick of being here all day, every day, trying to work and having Greg interrupt me 55 gazillion times. That is not acceptable. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this and, apparently, he’s so selfish that he can’t get it. My turn to be selfish is coming right up. I won’t be selfish at the expense of others so I’ll be damned if I’m going to idly allow things to drift into oblivion as I cope with others’ selfishness at my expense. I don’t have to be mean or angry. I just have to be firm. No, I have to be fearless. Like a superhero.

I always joke that Wonder Woman didn’t have children and therefore her existence was a bit easier than those of us who do. Well, I guess that will make the ending – or the next chapter – of my life’s story a little more interesting. Perhaps, even more laudable.

Boundaries? We’re getting them. One way or another.

Boom baby.

Picture from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonder_Woman

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4 thoughts on “Wanted: Superhero – That’s me!

  1. How wonderfully ironic – if you had read my old blog a year or so back or my Facebook feed, you’d have seen my constant references to Superman/Kal-El and the duality of needing to be a superhero for everyone else but not for yourself 🙂

    • Ah, duality, now *there’s* a juicy subject with multiple meanings! I’m glad you understand. I think there are several archetypes that the Real Me embodies and WW is just one of them.

      The “growing up for the second time and doing it right” thing means that I have to integrate all of these dimensional archetypes and I can only do it if I give myself permission. Well, it’s time.

      😉

  2. I love the idea of you putting some “boundaries” into place. We let these things/people completely overtake our lives and then wonder where the hell WE are in the lives we live. Good for you!

    • Well thanks! You articulated the heart of the problem for sure. Today has been productive in terms of issue identification and strategy development. All I can hope to accomplish is teeny tiny itty bitty positive gains.

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