Mistrust of my gut: Expectations?

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I printed this out for Greg as I was running out the door to my hair appointment. I forgot to take it off the printer and put it on his desk so I texted him that it was there. I told him that was my intention for the day and said I was looking forward to seeing him [complete with smiley face lol!]. I came home hours later and he’d been running around and hadn’t even bothered to look at it. We’ve been here, together, all afternoon and evening and he’s not even bothered to acknowledge my act of tenderness and vulnerability. Of course, he had the attention span/interest to have sex with me…

I’m being ignored, again, as usual. And hmmmm…isn’t this part of how we got here in the first place? I’m expecting him to work on something and enact some sort of change damnit. And he’s not doing jack.

I think my gut is correct here. My expectations are not off. BUT, if someone sees something I’ve overlooked, please feel free to share.

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5 thoughts on “Mistrust of my gut: Expectations?

  1. Love this – thanks for sharing it!! Sounds like his failure to take the time to read it was a huge trigger for you. It is very, very hard to do, but it sounds like a perfect opportunity to practice living the intentions you printed out for him. Definitely worth addressing with him, but first it may be powerful and healing for you to sit quietly with your aggravation and other feelings for awhile and see what comes up for you. I have discovered that there is often a sore spot in my heart from my childhood that whatever my husband said or did brought up and intensified. As I learned from reading Undefended Love (mentioned in comment to you on my blog) and am beginning to experience, becoming conscious of what that is is very healing, reducing my defensiveness and getting me one step closer to true open-hearted loving. My husband has not yet read the book so I am doing more of this personal work than he is right now, Even so, I can already see a huge transformation occurring in our relationship. Might be worth a try if you can get beyond the fact that you are investing more in the relationship than he is right now. I admire the effort you are putting in to restore/grow your relationship with your husband and wish the best for you, Dharma!

    • Oh triggers! Yes! I’m glad you pointed that out because I sure didn’t see it. I guess I should put on my “to do list” an exercise to take stock of what my triggers are. It seems that I cannot do enough work or work fast enough to understand things that have happened and their effects upon me so I can subsequently build better skills.

    • It’s frustrating because I am having a hard time trusting my gut. I’ve torn down the framework that feeds my codependent thinking to the extent possible and this leaves me a bit exposed in the interim.

      I’m going to have to think on this for awhile. Thank you for giving me something to ponder!

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