In my therapy session this afternoon we discussed the disconnect that is Greg’s lack of recognition that he has abused me verbally and emotionally and has allowed abuse by proxy from his family [read “full on screaming, name calling, swearing, humiliation, sometimes in my own house abuse”]. So I asked her how on earth I could possibly point this out to him? He’s like got shades of NP and BPD and serious zero-to-sixty anger issues. I asked her what she thought I could expect and she answered “emotional abuse”. [oh goody.] We were talking fast and furious and we got to this topic at the end, with no resolution.
Greg feels there’s no reason to separate because “there’s no abuse”. There has been abuse which is the primary reason I need to be away from him to repair my psyche and work on me so we can work on us. That’s why I need to separate. I don’t feel safe emotionally. When I say I don’t feel safe, that’s where he gets angry. Really angry. Like threatening me with never speaking to me ever again angry.
So here’s the question to crowd source: How do I convey to Greg that there has, indeed, been a lot of years of emotional and verbal abuse, especially when he is refusing to see it?