I am not strong enough to handle these cycles well and it is damaging me.
The critical little voice inside of me is anything but compassionate toward my feelings. “I’m such a cliche…suck it up…”
No. He was acting like an infant. He spiraled into me over a work problem (he works for me lol) and I put up a fence and refused to deal with his infantile and unprofessional behavior. I’m tired of dealing with this kind of shit. He wouldn’t treat any other colleague this way and I’ll be damned if I’d let another colleague get away with that shit.
So I dealt with my emotions, gathered my chi, and came back to resolve the conflict.
Brave Girl panties.
I told him that I was a good person and I would appreciate it if he didn’t come down on me so hard all of the time. Apologies started flowing and I put up a boundary. This was for me not him. I needed to say it to him, out loud to make myself feel better. He still tried to seize the moment with self flagellation but I ignored it. Childish. I thanked I’m for apologizing and came in the house because my stomach was upset. Don’t Cha now he had to follow me like a little kid…what wrong…did I say something to upset you…no H. It’s not always all about you. I needed to take some space so I could let go of my irritation. And you won’t give it to me. You can stay if you want but the moment has passed and I’m done with it. No big deal. He wanted me to make him feel better. No, I’m making myself feel better.