Striking gold

Image

 

and taking the good with the ugly. 

I have found many golden resources within the last 36 hours. I am working hard to understand myself. Here is a nugget:

“It has been said a codependent has a compulsive need to control an otherwise out of control life… I took control by withdrawing and numbing all my feelings….” [from http://malecodependence.com/2012/12/04/something-was-wrong-with-me/]

Control is oxymoronic within the context of codependent behaviors. I won’t pretend that I understand everything because that would be foolish and shallow. Hell, I’m still trying to unravel that things I heard my mother say when I was growing up that, because of the power relationship, she made sure I couldn’t practice.

Example: Nobody can make you feel badly unless you let them.

And then something would happen I invariably felt like I had no right to feel anything at all, let alone enact boundaries of any kind. I had no rights. Therefore, I have a dearth of skills in this area. 

Go figure. 

 

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